It’s that time again…….

Hey everybody! You’re my friend and I’m Brody Stevens Jr. III !!

It’s moist out here in So. Cal. USA and I ain’t talking about that chewable chocolate chip danish. (People, you’ve just witnessed my new Winter 2001 opener)

Honestly, it’s slick on the roads and my tires are bald, but I need that new PS1 joystick.

Some (i.e family members and my court ordered “counselor”) would label this thought and action irrational, possibly juvenile. I call it “committing to your priorities”.

Next week I may drive with no insurance because I want a facial. You�re mad and confused now, but when I book that featured cameo on The Michael Richards Show, don’t laugh with me to the bank!

If I catch any of you “tagging” or partaking in graffiti, I will vandalize your belongings. I’m the Bernard Getz of The San Fernando Valley. I’m armed with a pocket full of passion, laced with piss, vinegar and caffeine-free Diet Squirt.

I have a sad note to add here, I’m beginning to bald. It runs in my family, my aunt wears a toupee and my dad passed away fashioning extensions… (BTW, he had a Fantastic Sam’s punch card)

Anyway, I’ve shaved my head, allowing this freshly purchased potent elixir to penetrate my scalp unmolested. Found at the Office Depot Outlet, it was left over from that “Say, Say, Say” video.

And to my sister Stephanie, how dare you wake me at 1:12pm on a Monday! I’m on Intranet radio, do you understand this? I’ve become violent for far less of an inconvenience…(remember when you tore up my autographed Gordon Jump hologram?….and I choked your turtle?)

Your walking on thin dry ice here.

Are you gonna tell Mom that I’m writing about you again? I do my chores! I run the dishwasher! I empty the trash and de-plunge toilets when called upon (who had nachos?).

My household contributions far outweigh what little rent I refuse to pay.

Be near me at…

*Monday, March 5th…colonoscopy @ Jiffy Lube

*Sunday, March 10th…Hacky Sack, bible scriptures and Boggle with squatters

That’s it for now.

I’d like to join a Big Brothers organization…can I use you as a reference?

-Brody