Just a quick heads-up…Not that it matters, but my Calendar is fairly up to date (major open mic in Palmdale, CA)…Our Photo section will begin to take shape in the coming weeks…Also, several short films (ex: me drumming, others eating and me exercising, etc..) are lined up to premiere in the Video section…I’m the new Sundance!

I love March Madness and The NCAA Tournament…In my bracket, I’m going with UCONN….Those chicks are good.

*Just downloaded AOL 2.0…It rocks!

My older mother is different, she’s been known to wear Dockers.

Looking for someone to feed my hamster…Bonkers is diabetic.

Can you find a mailbox on Mapquest?

Have you seen Antwone Fisher?…He’s been missing for three days.

Anyone interested?…I’ve got two free passes for a midnight screening of Gangs of New York.

Would you like some freshly squeezed Sunny Delight?

Yes I’m a trailblazer, I’ve been known to tip at a buffet…First name basis @ The
Souplantation!…I’ll do brunch, doze off in a booth, then grab a tray and hit up dinner…

This is MY Grapes of Wrath.

Mr. President, I’ve got your back.

Why is “WORDSMITH” so easy to spell?

Last week I saw The Pianist with my 3-D glasses…kinda blurry, but those Fruit Goobers hit the spot.

(If you’re under 30, disregard this last paragraph)

Former child star Adam Rich was arrested again for a DUI….His punishment?…made to watch the third season of “Eight is Enough” with live commentary provided by Grant Goodeve…Just wondering, is Dick Van Patton’s rest home listed on Star Maps?

I’m different, safe and smart…Much too often, people freeze to death while climbing Mount Everest (aka “Everest”)…

…Simple solution: plan your Himalayan weekend for the summer.

He got heavy after 10 minutes.

In case you don’t know, this is a reality website.

Gas prices are really going thru the roof…Thank god I use propane.

I like crossword puzzles…I don’t do them, but I like them.

80 degrees today here in LA…I was able to tan my eczema.

I’m rich and important, while my bank is flexible…The ATM’s lets me deposit coins.

It’s Tax Season…”Mom, do you still list me as a independent?”

*Is it sad that I say most of this stuff on stage?

My hormones are beginning to KICK in…Hair now sticks thru my socks.

Coming back from Tampa, I saw Benecio Del Toroat LAX…He was being chased by Tommy Lee Jones.

Mostly for my Southern California readers…

I totally dislike the “improved” LA TIMES Sunday Calendar section…It’s too big, too messy….Oh, the writing is fine but the presentation sucks…It’s actually like reading a poster, or a map with no legend…”tell me again, where’s the horizon?”…

I miss the old layout, spans and features…The weekly word jumble was a real brain teaser, and their Dear Abby was second to none…The old Calendar Section was small and easily transportable, you could plop it down at Starbucks with a large drip, leaving room for cream and a Rice Crispy treat, de-lish…

On top of this, I always knew the showroom line-ups in Vegas, matinee rates for LA County theme parks and every headlining band at The Coach House in San Juan Capistrano.

I guess those days are behind us.

I want The New Times delivered to my home!

In a hurry today, not enough time to write…Gonna workout in the park, I do the bars…Basically, I’ll rollerskate to the jungle gym, do a “circuit” involving push ups, dips, nose ups and hop scotch…Then cool down with a shot glass of Ovaltine.

Lot’s of war stuff going on…Don’t blame me, I voted for Perot.