Watching on HBO, great stuff.

Sex with a stool, bad breath and bowel movements - cool.

Awesome crowds too.

OH MY GOSH.

“As the baby-boomer tsunami washes over us here, there’s all sorts of people in every cohort,” says Dave Schreiner, vice president of active-adult business development for Pulte Homes.

*clipped from the news today - nice choice of words, jeez.

Hold your breath, may have some photos up in the next day or two.

Re-witness my interaction with John Smoltz, Tim Hudson, Dale Earnhardt Jr., the White House, Hooters women and more!

Been a great trip, this is my Spring Break!

Why’m I so excited at 35? - probably cuz I didn’t go to prom, wasn’t barmitzfa’d, currently living with sister and have never been invited to the Aspen or Montreal Comedy Festivals.

Also no agent or manager.

I do everything by myself.

You’re damn right I’m proud, fired up today.

Oh, and I went to Reseda High School - who comes outta there? - no one.

Always the laughing stock, now I stand up for the Jersey of the Valley.

But I’m happy, really do appreciate all the kind words - it makes a difference, just a simple hello chased with an ego stroke.

Kidding, slightly.

In Hollywood, Florida RIGHT NOW - does this fact change your angle?

Mark “Super” Duper busy down here in Ft. Lauderdale - dare I say, with television?

DC was great, fantastic photos and stories galore…

*250 feet from the White House front door at 1:15am in the AM - only me and three bike cops, plus snipers and surrveilence all over me - images soon.

*by chance, sat behind home plate for the Washington Nationals game at RFK Stadium - Bush, Rice and Cheney were there as well, the motorcade was impressive - yelled at the umpire behind the dish, why? - Because I played baseball against him in high school - He went to El Camino in Woodland Hills and his brother pitches for the Phillies.

Ladies and Gentleman, Major League Umpire: Jim Wolf - jpegs soon.

Let me freestyle…

tbs: very funny

In a crowded Hard Rock casino on Saturday night, who comes up to me in the food court, big hug? - you guessed it, from ESPN and The Longest Yard (remake), Michael Irvin.

He’s so positive, you can’t not like him - even if you hate him.

And believe me, some people did and do - and to them I say, “you need to be saved!”.

Btw, nobody hates or hated Michael Irvin - just bent outta shape by his actions and bravado - I’m on board, I believe in this man.

This is what happens when you write on a empty stomach.

Hey team, let’s have a good week! - live through me, gotta great hotel room overlooking the pool, free food and intranet - plus in 3.6 hours I meet baseball Hall of Famer Michael Jack Schmidt.

Hungry, I’ll be back later….

See those pranksters in London squirt Tom at the War of the Worlds premiere?

Cruise stood up to the guy, backed him down - I was impressed.

Say what you want, but that was a real “man” moment.

And because of this, I WILL see the movie - opening day, literally - early bird student ROTC matinee.

Here’s the attack and verbal scalding on video.

Honestly, I’m proud of Tom Cruise.

(ps - one minute in, look for Jerry Minor standing with Katie Holmes)

Speaking of squirting, I mean having fun with the elderly - check out my buddies Dodger Dave, Abe and Mr. Baseball.

*Remember, tomorrow night at M Bar is CDR aka Comedy Death Ray and I’m hosting.

Expect names like Farrah Silverman, Jack Galifianakis, Demetri Martian and Steven Brody Stevens.

Sorry, sold out.

The show, and me.

That’s right, I do convention work - Pechanga here I come!

You know what’s depressing?

Seeing better video production on MySpace profiles.

You know what’s depressing?

Seeing better video production on MySpace profiles.

You know what’s depressing?

Seeing better video production on MySpace profiles.

You know what’s depressing?

Seeing better video production on MySpace profiles.

You know what’s depressing?

Seeing better video production on MySpace profiles.