Pills are out and Liquid Absorption is in - you heard it here second!

Back is healing cuz I told it to, mind over lumbar. Gravity boots to straighten the spine and swimming gadgets to help improve the muscles around the original injury.

After intensive investigation we’ve arrived at the following conclusion:

Mr. Steven Brody Stevens L4 disk was slightly herniated due to new “pitching” mechanics.

Tried to emulate Dan Petry’s wind-up. Big mistake.

Be kind to your core and you’ll get chix.

Long weekend of music, healing and auctioning on a Indian Reservation, Pechanga in Temecula to be exact - part of the 1-15 corridor.

Like the band Live, just gonna bounce around…

In Devore north of Rancho Cucamonga for KROQ’s Inland Invasion 5, actually was into Live’s set until the lead singer took off his shirt and made no mention of it - solid musicians, not fond the homo-erotic stage antics - en-JOYED the songs, not the performance.

Arcade Fire was fantastic, buzz band of the day - lot’s of players moving around, switching up duties on stage - men AND woman, cool and quite layered - only drawback was the early slot and hot sun.

Not gonna go into full review mode, but will say this - Beck played drums some, so did Rivers from Weezer and one of the ladies in Arcade Fire.

Drumming must be easy. In pro sports you don’t see Derek Jeter pitch on a regular basis or Jason Varitek turn two at second base - utility guys yes, stars no.

Don’t know, just struck me funny. Inspiring if you wanna delve deeper, so not a swipe in case you’re looking for one - saved it for Live, remember? - just several short annoying paragraphs ago, really laid into those guys from Pennsylvania.

Back is improving, acute pain still there, circumference getting smaller but I’m gonna have to miss another start - let’s just thank Gosh my arm is fine as I begin to set sights on late January in Tempe for the ASU Baseball Alumni Game.

I’ll close that SOB with gas and wit! - I KNOW how to pitch, I’ll read your eyes and body language - struck out 17 against Lower Columbia College from Oregon during my freshman year, anchoring the JV squad - but traveled half the time with the big boys.

Lettered at a Division 1 NCAA Baseball program and you can never take that away from me - my diploma, that’s another story - got destroyed in a flood due to the Northridge Quake back 1994.

The townhouse I’m in right now was hammered off it’s foundation, the place was a mess, sister had to move out for six months - work was shut down, Bullocks on Topanga? - lot’s of problems.

That’s why I moved up to Seattle, in search of a career in entertainment, I was literally a REFUGEE.

Back to hardball for a moment…

Yes, Barry Bonds would practice with us in 1989 - he’d mix in on the drills - so would Mike Benjamin and Tim Spehr - look those names up!

Next weekend I’ll officially be in Vancouver for their international comedy festival - big names, up and comers, then there’s me.

The following weekend I’ll be in Boston at the behest of the New York Yankees - if it’s close, they want there, cuz I don’t HATE.

Bernie, Posada, Mussina, Sheffield, just to name a few, make a beeline for Brody when they see me - that’s a good feeling.

Hear that Mom? - Stephanie? - any others out there who say I’ve become a terrible family member, are you listening or reading my banter?

See what happens when you push my buttons, I’m the one who ends up looking like the jerk - and I’m not a jerk - (okay, one time punched guy in wheelchair - but he cut me off!)

You FORCE me to brag.

In closing, it all comes back to me, ends up on my desk - that’s just the way it is.

In time I’ll deal with this family issue properly, but for now - gotta turn that anger and frustration into laughter and cash!!

Embarrassed to be an Angeleno.

First off, no extra traffic for me yesterday - went right through the epicenter and flash point: the 405/101 interchange.

Same thing coming back home, just typical Monday congestion.

But the stories of people freaking out and not obeying 4-way stops were everywhere - this according tv news and radio broadcasts.

I believe it. The bad driving, soft and selfish types (peoples’ mindset), speeding and aggressive maneuvers don’t magically disappear - it’s ingrained, young and middle-aged alike.

This is why you sweat the small stuff - it builds character and properly prepares a society for the unexpected.

Maybe that unexpected will be a meal with me and a famous baseball player? - Could you handle yourself at a personal buffet with Pete Rose or Gabe Kapler?

And that’s just part of the world I’d prepare you for.

Also, be extra nice to kids and old folk.

And bus your table, even at Taco Bell.

Gotta get back to basics - all about fundamentals, like PFP (Pitcher Fielding Practice) in spring training.

Keyshawn did pretty well yesterday - 2 touchdowns for the Cowboys against the Chargers.

Don’t even wanna go into it - Mom thinks I’m bi-polar, she says it runs in her family.

Are you kidding me? - I’m already on 20 mgs of Lex and she wants me in a straight jacket! - Bi-Polar? - who am I, Barret Robbins?

Yelling does not constitute bi-polar - punching people, missing work, on heavy street drugs, in debt, smelly with a felony - these are indications of serious mental problems, not raising your voice for the first time in 35 years!!

Mom and sister have turned into a two headed monster - no males to help back me up - Jack and Dad are gone - I can see why Dad had chest pains since his early 40’s (father and dad same person, Jack is mom’s second husband), now I’m gonna have an f’ing heart attack!

It’s bad and I need your help.

Just to let ya know, father had two bypasses, blocked artery in his neck, several heart attacks and dead at 63.

I don’t wanna die at 63.

Also would like to have a semi-normal family - at least try to.

Bottom line - wasn’t on the road to happiness until 1994 when I began my life in comedy - before 1994, held back and wasn’t completely myself for whatever reason - I was a good son and a good brother - never got laid, didn’t go to prom, had acne, itching spells, but I was a good kid - the minute I got outta that nest and into the real world of emotional and personal freedom, everything changed.

Took chances, became nicer, smiled, laughed, booked gigs, asked questions and even had sex - her name was Carlos.

Kidding.

I WON’T EVEN go into career accomplishments - all of this, everything I’ve done is in spite of those not on board - i.e aunts, uncles and most anyone prior to 1994 - the good ones know who they are, we still talk today
In a nutshell, sister is jealous, doesn’t know or care about noble endeavors, and Mom is protecting her daughter.

Me being away from the situation will sooth nerves but never fix the true problem - sister is a bitch (quoting one of her magnets) and mom won’t do anything about it, or vice versa.

I can deal with not having a sibling in my life, but not a mother - and this is what it’s turned in to.

So I should change and go back to old Brody? - i.e the little kid who just doesn’t understand, doesn’t comprehend the value of a dollar and afraid of girls.

Also hurts because they (M and S) continually give me resistance (girls too) - even after you see progress - the big claim is I scream and say awful things.

Awful, yes, at times - but true, and necessary.

Overall, I like myself and life, quite happy and excited - just wanna share the drive, devotion and spoils with a few blood relatives - namely Stephanie and my mother.

Know I’m being vague and unclear, don’t care - this is more for me.

More later once I fix this major LA Power Outage.

You asked for it and here it is…

Switchfoot’s latest hit synced with my jpegs from the Bay Area.

Sit back and enjoy.

Ladies and Gentleman…