So they performed a face transplant today over in France. Guess somebody got messed up pretty bad in those riots. (Then the comedian acts it out)

This site is so good it should be on Sirius - boom, a light bulb just went off somewhere.

If you don’t promote me, I will - Super Greens and garbanzo beans at Whole Foods can get expensive, especially during the winter months.

Almost 700 friends at Myspace. Not bad for a guy with no CD, zero road gigs, marginal TV and only six erotic dancers.

Hugging Pete Rose in three hours. (me, not the dancers)

Three frozen loafs of bread? - not normal.

BUT, we are making progress - my sister is cutting through the clutter, removing layers of literal barricades that’ve been up for years.

Freezer burn? - never again Stephanie, never again.

Excited about today, gonna hang with Michael Strahan, Antonio Gates, Donnie Edwards and Pete Rose - not name dropping, just sharing.

Actors pay thousands to experience these situations, i.e. film or fantasy camp. I get to do it for free on the Fox lot, which again means what?

Just trusting my instincts in a non-hacky/corny way - the slash only confused, I know.

I ‘m real and goofy trapped in a prison of my obsessions.

Thank You.

-Fiona Apple

Here it goes,

First we lose Pat Morita, then Michael Irvin gets busted with a pipe in his car.

Both of these men have had an impact on my life, so yeah, forgive me if I get a bit emotional flashing back to happier times.

Damn.

Mr. Myagi from Karate Kid, yep, that’s him. Danny Russo lived in Reseda at The Seven Seas Apartments on Saticoy. That’s where he first encountered Pat Morita creating Banzai, or something like that.

Bottom line Pat Morita was funny and I went to Reseda High, that’s all.

Means nothing if you really think about it.

And Michael Irvin, my buddy.

Irvin told The Associated Press late Sunday the pipe belonged to a friend of 17 years.

So he screwed up - possibly removed from the ESPN NFL Show and shipped down to the minors.

Maybe he’ll come back to Best Damn on Fox Sports Net or open for Snoop Dogg on the road?

Hello creatures of cyberspace, I come in peace - Is that flash animation in your pocket or you just happy to see me?

I’m different, I fast during Thanksgiving and gorge on Yom Kippur.

Cold and windy here in LA as I prepare for a 10:30pm show at the Improv featuring Doug Benson, Tom Papa, Jordan Rubin and Zach Galifianakis.

Throwing very hard yesterday at a junior college, employing the same drills Mariano Rivera subscribes to on a daily basis. Soon we will start video taping our sessions for view on your 12th generation iPod.

Tightened up my Photos Section this weekend - our goal is to provide eager minds a diverse digital database featuring some of today’s most recognizable celebrities.

Have fun and dig in.

I’m officially nuts.

Some great movies out right now, gonna make for a fantastic DVD season in March - Walk the Line, that’s real buzz. Didn’t know Johnny Cash had a hair-lip.

What, Joaquin Phoenix hasn’t heard this before? - betcha I’ve heard more nose jokes than he’s heard hair-lip jokes. Trust me. And River was a notorious teaser.

Pizza Hut, not bad for a once a month experience - yum, buttery crust, thanks Queen (as in Latifa who does the PH voice over I do believe).

In twenty minutes, gonna have breakfast at John Wooden aka The Wizard of Westwood’s favorite coffeeshop on Ventura in the Valley. Can’t give away exact location, secret meeting place - Dave Grol likes to hang there, as does Fred Travalena.

LA Clippers, Los Angeles Kings and USC Football - who needs the Dodgers, Lakers or Rams?

Another pleasant day here in suburbia, quiet in the driveway as the Russian children are off to school. We got a little community here and I like it.

Too soon to offer my unlicensed Big Brother program?

Working on my photo section, need to update and adjust, freshen up a bit, in terms of html and font specifications.

Hi, I work for the Geek Squad.

Doing my best to sync, yet keep separate, bs.com and MySpace - ya know what I mean? - wanna top out on this site, push it as far as I can go.

Then ween off obsessions by channeling them toward DVD and CD production - i.e. cash in chips cuz I’m losing me mind.

Nah, doing fine, just free-styling on a Monday afternoon.

Tonight, only after running errands and exercising, will I be at The Westwood Brew Company near UCLA - funny comedians you’ll recognize from television - starts at 10, goes until 2am, i’ll be there after 11pm pacific standard.

Again, only if I complete three-quarters of my to-do list.

May this amazing race begin now.

Speaking of great, fantastic fun last night at the Improv in Melrose, California.

Nick Thune provided the buzz and skills - former American Idol host Bryan Dunkelman stated his case - Bryan Callen went for it - Sam Tripoli and Morgan Murphy held their own and then some, as well.

Made some extra cash over the weekend - catered a snuff film.

Cheaper candy? - Vons or 7-11? (someone should do a study)

Not a big poker guy - I’d rather blog, drum, or pitch - oh, maybe some comedy too, here and there.

Guess you can say my life is complete.

Mo Rocca and Ed Begley, Jr. - two of today’s top lispers.

That’s cruel and aggressive comedy, thank you LA Scene.

Anyway, last night at the Store was a workout, needed it. Fought for laughs and acceptance. Been a little loud on the mic as of late, gotta get hearing checked - blame my new Coby headphones with treble boost.

High 70’s right now as I hear two Russian children playing outside.

Little David has soccer and tennis in his genes. I’m pushing baseball on him, which is meeting with disapproval from his father.

I tell father Simon, “America’s National Pastime should be mandatory for all. Also waiting tables and living in New York City for a year.”

He then rolls his eyes and goes back to his vodka and cigarette. (actually not far from the truth)