Slightly under the weather, again - pesky ole’ t-cell count is fluctuating like a Richter Scale needle during an aftershock in Mojave, just outside Edwards Air Force Base overlooking the famous dry lake bed known for West Coast Space Shuttle landings and air shows with my late father in the mid-80’s.

I’ve witnessed several sonic booms in my lifetime, as have millions of other Southern Californians - and to that I say “who cares?“.

Watching Colts vs. Bolts on CBS right now, extended parallel on a recently flipped futon, eating oatmeal and drinking Emergency, the flavored punch named after Gage and De Soto.

I’ll say this, most photoshop humor doesn’t do it for me - Subconsciously, I’m probably jealous cuz all I can do is crop and add red eye.

Take my coffee like I take my women. With milk and Splenda.

That’s a twist on an old line from the movie Airplane!, which I received on DVD yesterday. Thanks Robert Hayes from Angie!

Rubs me the wrong way when crowds, usually the younger ones, make faces and odd reactions because they didn’t get your BASIC references. Dennis Miller would have no chance today, and that has nothing to do with his politics. These kids get upset when I know more about their hometown then them.

Listen to a conversation, turn off the music and look at a map!!

Hi, my name is Brody - I’m 30 going on 55.

Tonight I’ll be at the UCB Theatre in Hollywood guesting on Jimmy Pardo’s Running Your Trap - lights go down and the curtain cracks at 8pm Pacific Standard.

Patton Oswalt will be the other participant.

Should be a good show. And yes, I expect to be double teamed and verbally attacked in a non-Brokeback way. That’s what upperclassman do to juniors. Luckily I transferred in with credits. Remember Meet My Folks and celebrity look-a-like interstitials from the early days of E Channel?

I’m sure you don’t. And that’s where my career is at.

Brody: 29 going on spinning wheels.

Just hanging, surfing off-line, cleaning up iTunes, etc…

Letting my hair grow for Hollywood’s upcoming Pilot Season 2006 - got a resume, headshots from 02 and a fresh bio!

Seriously, I enjoy performing, possibly too much, but I can’t stand the high school’ish politics. How’m I supposed to thrive in this business when I couldn’t even find a date for the prom? I play baseball, drum, show up with no criminal record, and speak into a microphone.

What more do YOU PEOPLE want?

Does facial hair frighten you? How about sweat and passion? Biceps and perfectly tweezed sideburns? If yes, then I can’t help you - nor do I want to!

Brody: breaking down

No I’m not, just freestyling.

Over the weekend, my friend’s 94 year-old Grandfather accidently mixed meds, hallucinated, then attacked his 45 year-old live-in son who has down syndrome with a phone.

Scott didn’t panic, he ran and called his sister (does he have a cell?). Walt, who can barely walk, fell down as Scott huddled and hid in the bathroom.

Paramedics and family soon arrived. Walt was strapped to a stretcher, wheeled out and yelled “Scott, you did this to me”.

NOW that’s a Pilot Presentation!

Reggie Bush of USC did win the Heisman. Good kid, and I meet a lot of them. (That last sentence can and will get you red flagged by the FBI).

Today I hang with Ed’s child. Who’s that you ask? How about former NFL player, The Punky QB with the 85 Chicago Bears, Mr. Jim McMahon. Can you believe he went to BYU, a Mormon school? It was a strange marriage that worked out, which is par for the course in UTAH.

A few decent shows throughout the week - Bryan Callen, me and Zach Galifianakis at the Hollywood Improv on Tuesday. Then it’s myself and Patton Oswalt guesting on Jimmy Pardo’s Running Your Trap at the UCB Theatre this Thursday. Also, catch me late-night at the Comedy Store on Tuesday as well, Westwood Brew Co. tonight, plus other fine gigs sprinkled over non-Northern California.

Her newest music inspires me. It’s something you can dance to, or drive down the Wilshire Corridor listening to on your latest satellite radio device.

(this is what happens when you live in a townhouse full of candles, angels and several “best friends” picture frames)

Hello children, let’s please join hands as we bow our heads…

Thank You.

You just witnessed silent prayer and a new wave brainwashing technique I picked up at the local Trader Joe’s - in the book section, near the free range organic pickles.

Better salad bar - Sizzler or Souplantation? Gonna go with Souplantaion cuz I know they accept my AAA card, that saves us 10% - recently had a flat tire, the tow truck brought me a small caesar.

This only makes sense coming from my mouth - And I betcha it gets a laugh, I’m that confident in my facial gestures.