“Hi, one for Kong”

*featuring Ted McGinley

Sometimes this is how I feel. Should I use longer words? Maybe stop playing baseball, quit banging drumsticks (5A) on my steering wheel and be more selective with stage time? How about cutting net duration in half?

With these drastic measures taking effect, possibly I can achieve success financially and lucratively here in Hollywood.

So far I’m writing this entry like the third lead in The Ringer.

Enjoy It! - just quit Netflix and I still got their DVD’S! - yep, this time the little guy wins. And screw Google too, getting sick of those frat nerds!

People need to speak up and take action against radical fringe organizations.

Say hello to Bizarro Brody.

(not to be confused with Blainzo who’s making the rounds in today’s underground hip comedy world)

*Things are going so well for me, tomorrow I have an audition for a re-run.

Just found out my call time for Blind Ambition, I play the male announcer. Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and IMDB it, pre-release date. Have to take chances in this town, that’s why I’m able to walk on a major studio lot unmolested by security while being embraced by production offices and accounting facilities on the 4th floor of the 101 Building.

And on that note, time for my daily shower.

Zest Irish Spring with Winter Micro-Beads clean!

World’s best new worst joke…

I have horrible luck. Got a speeding ticket at a parking meter. Was going thirty in a one hour. Sued, took Canada to Large Claims court.

Be thankful you don’t understand, the humor and motive of those four sentences.

Booked a movie featuring Cindy Crawford. She’s still HUGE in Bollywood.

Again, be thankful you don’t understand. But it’s true. Sunday in make-up!

Saturday, I’m at the Improv with Patton Oswalt and other funny types. Oh, and hosting at the Improv means you’re just going up first. That’s what I tell myself.

Got me a check today, deposited it directly into my ATM. Yes, I have an ATM in my kitchen, items are bar coded and digitized. I’m beta-testing this product for Bank of America. It recently premiered over the weekend at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas.

The machine deals with fingertips and recognizes individual retinas.

The bonus for me? I get free checking.

And you’ve been X’d!!

-Sincerely, Jamie Kennedy

And btw, ATM don’t mean Automated Teller Machine (not for this short blog entry), it means something completely different - YET STILL affiliated with CES, if you know what I’m sayin’!!

Strained back waiting in line for Eggs Benedict at El Torito - stupid and makes sense only to me.

I’m gonna use less commas in 2006. Good idea, right?

So into dental care, every two months I change my Sonicare Toothbrush charger.

It’s official, will be in AZ for the Alumni Baseball Game at Tempe’s Packard Stadium. Most likely I’ll pitch in front of over 1,000 spectators. And you thought I got nervous at the Improv on Urban night.

The NY Football Giants just lost. Looks like I’ll be hanging with Michael Strahan a WHOLE BUNCH in the next few weeks. Mike, we wonder what disheartens
you more?

The loss or me?

*Tonight I’ll be at the Ramada on Vermont in Hollywood, 9pm

*Later, at the Knitting Factory around 11′ish

*EVEN later, crackers and Slim-Fast at 7-11 just south of 2am

Check out these two sites, Judah Friedlander and Dragon Boy Suede are good people.

Getting so much spam in my guestbook, just gonna leave it there for a while.

Remember, still on MySpace - In fact gonna add a little photo right now. Watch…

No doubt, with his Longhorns defeating the Trojans, Two for the Money is bound to get a little bump in DVD pre-orders.

They say it happens in threes, Lou Rawls passing today of lung cancer, legendary college baseball coach Rod Dedeaux moving on, and of course, SC losing to Texas.

Here’s a positive…

While sunning myself with a morning bagel in Woodland Hills I see none-other than half the Odd Couple and one-hundred percent Quincy, Mr. Jack Klugman. I tell him “Looking great Jack!”, he loved it.