*did they factor in Thursday’s car bomb in Kabul?

from a couple years back, not bad for having the flu

Cuz that’s where I’m pressing the keys this week. Yes, I’ve taken my Mac across state lines. Lately been flying a lot. Last week they made me check my fanny pack. Wouldn’t fit in the overhead on a 757.

Have to be honest with you. When the New York Yankees request your attendance, you show up. It’s that simple. So while the hot shots and those eager to please in Hollywood audition for fame, approval and money, I’m in a major league baseball clubhouse rubbing elbows with true American heroes like Randy Johnson and Hideki Matsui.

Please don’t hate on me. Children of the net look to this site for inside access and inspiration. Hey, at least I do.

Pics and Vids are being processed as we speak - which include Johnny Damon taking hacks in the underground cage, RIGHT-HANDED!

As far as comedy goes…

*Monday at Fox for Best Damn Sports - show #1,000 (maybe I have something to do with this gaudy number?)

*Tuesday at UCB in Hollywood - 10pm on Franklin near the 101. Solid line-up. Does the word “funny” ring a bell?

*Wednesday in Santa Monica/Venice at The World Cafe on Main - the first annual West-Side comedy awards (or something like that) - think I’m up for 310’s Worst Newcomer - and the loser is…

Let’s go ahead and stop this post right here.

Today I’ve witnessed sunshine in two separate cities. Phoenix and LA. Suck on that Winnipeg! Yeah, just took a shot at Canada, gotta keep them on their toes. Trust me, I understand border issues. And when I say “border issues”, I’m not talking about items off the menu at Taco Bell. I’m speaking about real life stuff, like their new spicy steak burrito. Damn, I’m getting pulled in too.

To be honest, the last 72 hours have been whirlwind. Dreams and realities were achieved simultaneously on a fresh desert grass compound known as Surprise, Arizona: Spring Training home to the Texas Rangers Major League Baseball club.

Basically, I was brought in to break things up. A prank/roast kinda deal, and that’s what I did.

From MLB.com…

Israeli pitching coach crashes meeting: The pitching coach for Israel’s 2009 World Baseball Classic team was at the Rangers team meeting Monday night.

At least that’s how Showalter introduced him to the players and staff.

Before long, the guy was trying to recruit catcher Rod Barajas because “you look Egyptian” and the players realized they were being taken in by Brody Stevens, a professional comedian hired by Showalter as entertainment.

Every player got zinged, from Kevin Mench’s oversized head to the fact that Nevin was a punter in college.

“Yeah, we all know how tough you are,” Stevens told Nevin.

Even Hicks wasn’t spared.

“He didn’t miss anybody,” Showalter said.

Here’s another one from the Dallas Morning News…

Owner Tom Hicks set the stage by telling the team fairly directly that he expects it to win the AL West. Comedian Brody Stevens, the warm-up act for the Best Damn Sports Show Period, took over for 25 minutes of roasting the Rangers. That bit of levity may have been significant, because the confidence to poke fun at their abilities has been lacking from recent Rangers teams.

Catcher Rod Barajas said. “This meeting made its point. It was plain and simple. It was the best one of those kinds of meetings I’ve been part of.”

But we all know I do more than warm-up, right? I’ve hosted several public access television shows, participated in the Diet Pepsi Challenge (tech + security), and I frequently call into overnight paid radio shows (I need herbs for my colon! - and yes I’ll hold).

And it doesn’t stop there!

No, not the colon/herb stuff - the real life baseball fantasy camp. It happened. After Monday night’s pressure packed performance, the offer was made.

“Brody, wanna suit up for Tuesday’s workout?”

And this is what I said…

“yes, I’m wearing a cup”

that’s my friend Judah, he does movies AND stand-up comedy

*look for Judah the World Champ in the new teen laugher, Date Movie.

(”teen laugher”, I’m tied into the trades)

Dragon Boy Suede, good stuff

Just a reminder, leading off tonight at The Hollywood Improv, joining in the festivities for Andy Kindler and Friends. I’m a Pal. We start at 10:30pm on the West Coast.

Possible late night spot, if I want it at The Comedy Store on Sunset. When Joe Rogan calls, you listen. Joe worked with Andy Dick for several years on NewsRadio. Talk about a personal Fear Factor!

Currently you’re witnessing Comedy Writing 203.

Check out Dragon Boy Suede, he gets it. Placing down tracks on a Mac via a tablet PC! - That’s cross platform intelligence.

Can YOU screen shot?

yes, of course! - my venetian blinds

*I hear this guy dates Ann Coulter.

Yep, sure is and who cares? - Us that is, because Saturday I’ll be at the Improv and Comedy Store in Hollywood, California.

Then just hours after groundbreaking comedic work, I’ll board a plane for a three-day excursion to the Cactus Leagues in AZ.

Yes, I typed “Leagues”.

Pitchers, Catchers, and Brody.

Hang there, touch base with some old chums scattered throughout the Desert Southwest. (Jake, Heath and Randy)

Back home Wednesday (the 818 region), then it’s off to Florida for our annual Spring Training visit in Tampa. (”our” being me and portable speakers)

“Good to see ya Johnny Damon” - That’s what to expect, close interaction with today’s top stars.

Hi, you just witnessed the nighttime version of ESPN’s Cold Pizza, assuming you’re reading this after dusk.

Made that with this

*84mph with a tight curveball and groin