Hey, that’s me!

Thanks to Sarah Silverman for making this day happen - it’s on my demo, format: laser disc

Before I get anymore negative, I’m gonna leave this computer and head over to Jamba Juice for a shot of wheat grass, chased with a medium Orange-a-Peel.

Dracula with a toothache (or Baby Huey?)

And don’t you dare call me racist! - ain’t no racism here.

Brody: taunting Wu Tang

Picked up a late flight, Van Nuys to Stateline, bussed to Outlet Mall, cabbed to Tropicana.

Wanted to see the controversial Bodies exhibit at the Trop, you know the one, with real dead people, preserved and showing bones, ligaments, etc.

Got there too late. Next time. Gates open at 10am. Lasts about 90 minutes. Bring snacks.

After my gig at the Poker Dome, I went for a walk. From the MGM, through Bally’s, past the Aladdin, Steak and Eggs at the Frontier (depressing if you really think about it) - did a 180 at The Wynn, heading back down by The Mirage, then an ice cream sundae near Harrah’s while listening to a fantastic cover band (somebody sign these guys!).

My stretch run consisted of water guzzled near New York/New York and a chafe check in the shadow of the Excalibur.

Several miles of walking, smoking hot —> you do the math, sir.

So today I’m into oils and vaseline, which has absolutely nothing to do with Erotica LA.

You just witnessed a cheap “out” - This is why I don’t do Bumbershoot.

*No, I’m not jealous

Forcing myself away from the stage and internet. It’s a novel concept and my detractors are doing summer salts.

Got a public massage today in the mall, think I got jipped on the time. Gonna complain to Sharper Image.

Bang! - right into the laughter. That’s what my words do.

You hear about this guy trying to cancel AOL? He spent nearly 20 minutes on the phone (which he recorded) with the ALWAYS DREADED customer service, they hassled him about canceling, etc.

But after listening to it, the guy calling in was a prick, or at least he came off that way. You can be friendly and firm, this guy was looking for trouble in my opinion.

I’ll give it another listen.

Want more opinions?

I refuse to understand the culture of tagging. My secure living arrangements got hit the other day, or night? They’re like Lock Ness, I can never catch them. Reminds me of chupacabra or the mystical two-headed snake.

If you know of any punk kids who go by the name of “Thief“, “Crow“, or “Milk“, please contact your local authorities and/or neighborhood watch.

They could be armed and most likely are dangerous. Please don’t chance it, let the professionals handle it after your initial 911 call.

A pipe broke in our complex, as usual.

Washed my face tonight with root beer, Barq’s.

Found graffiti yesterday within our property, and another tag this morning - (btw, I ripped down the sign they desecrated, which ironically IS vandalism).

One more unnatural disaster and I’m outta here!

They win.

Who’s they? That’s the million dollar question and I have the 99 Cent Store answer.

Read between the curves.

That’s Michael Irvin, he’s my friend, issues and all - who doesn’t have issues?

We’re all human, we all wear fur to court in Dallas.

The air is blowing, but it ain’t cool - it’s room temperature.

Honestly thinking of sleeping in my car tonight, cold air surrounding me, engine idling. Lay down in the back seat, windows way up, garage door cracked so the exhaust can escape.

I’m just warm and uncomfortable, home alone charging internal batteries for my weekly 24 hours in Vegas.

When cash and a poker show at the Tropicana call, you answer.

Nickel video Keno is my specialty.

What about overnight on a air mattress in the pool, literally getting shut eye on the water? I’m telling you, this makes sense to me.

Sat alone tonight at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf eavesdropping a on group of teens.

Headphones in, iPod off.

Creepy.