“Guys, you have to leave. My poodle needs to work on his hook shot”

It’s a big one. I can see the Coliseum lights glaring through the evening haze from Downtown to the Valley.

Who am I? Randy Newman?

Disappointed with my local McDonald’s. The food is fine, it’s the customer service that’s been getting to me as of late. Can we not let the 43-year-old Latino man with penciled-in eyebrows, lip gloss and long sharp nails work the first drive-thru window? At least he’s not handling food.

Then you pull up to the second window, get your large beverage and wait for the food and STRAW. This lady gives you THE DRINK then takes off, hanging at the shake machine jabbering with Princess Julio. Too far away to say anything. I was thirsty.

Not super busy, the place wasn’t bussling, but I sat in my car for almost four minutes with a large Diet and no straw.

Yes I was pissed. I blame them. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

All we’re asking is, where are the basic social skills tied in with common sense? What, because this is fast food I should expect less? To that we say no! I spend more money yearly at Taco Bell than most ladies do monthly at BeBe.

Tonight I’ll be at The Comedy Store in Hollywood for a 12:45am spot.

Watch as I steer the show into it’s late night format of zaniness, creativity and balls to the wall, in your face subtle humor!

Monday night in Santa Monica at 14 Below, work some stuff out there.

Hosting Comedy Death Ray at UCB Theater on Franklin this Tuesday at 8:30pm – names you may know and possibly respect.

Then my live weekly segment on Playboy Morning Radio – Sirius 198, Wednesdays 6-7am pacific standard on the west coast.

Brode: done

Had Thanksgiving dinner in Brentwood, California. Dining at the home of former Los Angeles Laker Rudy La Russo. Just up the road from the house that burnt down to the ground the other night, sadly killing one plus dog and all over the news.

For supper I brought Ruffles (SC and BBQ), two canisters of iced cream and a bottle of Merlott. The chips got play, my other offerings we laughed at.

At the table, witnessed the Heimlich Maneuver on a 95 year old man. Maybe the turkey was a bit tough? We had 911 on the phone as three pumps were administered to Walt via his grandson Michael. Lots of gasping, a change of color, a residual cough here and there, but Walt finished up strong, even saving room for lemon cake…

…and a scoop of my Mint Chocolate Chip!

Jaime Foxx was tremendous tonight on the American Music Awards. He’s a fantastic singer. Can’t wait to hear him on the soundtrack for Miami Vice. I wanna go to that premiere so bad.

Vegas was great. The Comedy Festival at Caesar’s Palace? Even better. Anytime you share the stage with Sarah Silverman, Brian Posehn, Jeffrey Ross and Zach Galifianakis it calls for a celebration (hey guys, wait for me!). How about craps with Jason Giambi and Kid Rock? Yep, that too.

What about a friendly personal conversation with famed sportscaster Barry Tompkins? Crossed that one off the list.

From this point on I refuse to get involved with the Michael Richards/Kramer international fiasco. He was wrong and out of touch, leave it at that. Keep in mind, stuff like this has been going on for years in the clubs. I’ve heard the N-word and seen worse (Yours Truly – kidding.

But seriously, this is what happens in today’s world of happy comedy. The audiences get soft and way too defensive. The show Yo Mamma offends me. Instead of officially complaining and making a stink, I vent on my blog and don’t watch.

I say chill on the outrage. We’ve got more important things as a nation to worry about, like global warmth, health care, graffiti, muslims group-praying in the airport and atm fees.

Good day everybody, catching up can be hard to do and that afternoon is here.

Went to the new and improved Topanga Plaza Shopping Center yesterday. Been hanging out there a lot lately, malls keep me out of the sun. Great new stores mixed in with the old stand bys. Nothing like pushing a cart from Target through the aisles of Nordstrom.

An upscale food court, Panda Express on a real plate with silverware, just like Japan!

I’m not sure the locals can handle this shift in culture? Had to overhear a middle aged woman freak out because she misplaced her bag of clothes while dining. Frantic and sprinting all over the place, settle down lady. Yes it sucks, but don’t bring everyone in on behalf of your own absent-minded actions. She panicked like she lost her dog, not some classy house wife who misplaced a couple 2-4-1’s from a Persian kiosk.

Then there’s the 14-year old fat smiling skater punk dressed in black running up the escalator against traffic falling flat on his chubby red cheeks smack dab at the base of a MILF and her perfectly shaped, painted toes.

I gave the kid a high-five.

Tonight I’m gonna work at FOX assisting Talk Show w/Spike Fereston, providing my energy and point of view. Yes, people really do pay me for this. I have the free video games to prove it. It’s been a while Spike, but we’re back working together in Tinseltown!

Playboy Morning Radio on Sirius 198 has been a smashing success! Over 15 weeks of classic Stump Stevens stored on the hard drives at Hef’s headquarters! Wednesday mornings, live during the 6am slot with Cort and Kevin. Don’t miss it as I take on Stern single-handedly, rocking the boat of corporate back in New York.

What else?

Hungry and I need to prepare for a studio audience.

Oh, was supposed to meet Borat on Tuesday. Didn’t happen, I canceled. Sorry Sacha.

Had a great conversation this afternoon with famed boxing announcer Michael Buffer at our local Blockbuster. I browse the previously viewed, Michael sticks with rentals.

Congrats to Tony Stewart, he got it done over the weekend by winning the Dickies 500 NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series race at Texas Motor Speedway in Fort Texas…

Five days late or Three-Hundred-and-Sixty nights early?

Please enjoy Brode’s Ultimate Brain Teezer, coming to a Hudson News near you! Extra stands at Midway and look for our Dulles Signature Store rolling out in late February.

Pay me and I’ll give you more, adding another paragraph to this riveting passage in time.

Don’t get this? Then click off, get out of here.

Brody: cyber anger