I just like saying that, makes my dark and blotchy features pure.

In my mid-30’s, yesterday I bought a stiff therapeutic pillow wedge at CVS. Helps me sit up when having the laptop rest on my genitals. Posture and posting should improve.

Somebody with brains is laughing at this. Sadly, today in America that’s a rare commodity.

Brody: PBS

This is why I can do the hippest rooms in Southern California, following a private show for the LA/Oakland Raider Cheerleaders (ladies only alumni gathering) at a Thai restaurant near the beach in Venice. My opening line was…

“Hi girls, let’s do a pyramid! I just took a leak on the sand, aka God’s kitty box”

And that’s why this subject line greets fellow Christians, because I reference pyramids and our Lord.

It’s a spiritual call-back, a resurrection if you will.

Fun and silly, signed two pom-poms.

I’m a frugal mensch!

I send out Chanukah cards in B of A deposit envelopes.

The New Jewish Mafia - we’ll sue your ass!

*this slap in the face will only make us stronger

*we both have very strong arms and a point to make

*in two weeks he becomes a millionaire and I don’t

…and I’m scared.

It’s in the high 50’s and pouring. I’m gonna check on my mom. Hold on… Yep, she’s fine down in the desert, doing light aerobics and volunteering at the Betty Ford Center, then lunch with the ladies followed by one on one AOL 3.0 tutoring. Todays lesson plan: double clicking

She’s an active woman and I’m so proud of her. On Sunday gonna take her to Costco, sneak in on her membership, get a Fila shirt a case of Axe.

Now that’s a good son.

Drinking coffee, wanna deliver this entry. Imperative that I do, kudos are at stake.

I love Taco Bell. Will never turn my back on this place, even the one in Manhattan with rats. I’m THAT loyal.

If McDonald’s owns Chipotle who knows what’s in Wendy’s portfolio?

$7.03 for the new Angus with mustard at BK. Gave her 3 pennies and a debit card.

Brody: food funnies

Hung with NBA legends George “The Ice Man” Gervin and Oscar “The Big O” Robertson earlier today. George was known for his finger roll and Oscar AVERAGED a triple-double one year in the NBA, averaging 30.8 points, 11.4 assists and 12.5 rebounds for the 1961-62 season.

I’m sure nobody here cares. Robertson went to the University of Cincinnati. Zero people in the audience knew this fact. I did and that’s why I get to meet talented people. I also live alone and troll eHarmony.

Yes, I will force my humor on you! Commit, go there, it’s a deeper laugh, more significant. Trust me, that’s why America’s top comedians seek me out. They’re in search of the energy emoting from beneath my outer layer. I’m like a Buddha, connecting different worlds and spirits for a few laughs at 1:20am inside The Comedy Store on Sunset Blvd. of Hollywood channeling the likes of Kinison, Letterman and Jimmie Walker from Good Times.

Not a rant, just setting the tone for the following text…

Today I’m gonna hang with Keyshawn Johnson, Michael Irvin, college football standout Adrian Peterson and from a Spike Lee Joint —-> Michael Rapaport.

Now that’s a crew.

I’ll be there to protect Adrian from bells and whistles of stardom, and Rapaport.

Just took at shot at “Rapps”, that’s what I do.

All this Imus talk has rustled up some old memories from the past.

Memories from my past that I’ve learned from, suffered from, then stored away in the deepest, most darkest part of my skull and heart.

About five years ago, a Caucasian friend of mine who worked for a Hip-Hop record label gave me some gear. A couple stickers and a nice gray XXL sweatshirt loaded with album info, crew and label artwork. The stuff you see at Ticketmaster supported concerts and radio stations giveaways - hip, cool and functional.

It was Prodigy of Mobb Deep’s debut solo album, HNIC. And that’s what it said across the chest in big bold letters. Looked fresh, I didn’t know what HNIC stood for. Wore it out one night, did comedy at a Hollywood Youth Hostel, some German kid told me HNIC stood for “Head Ni**a in Charge“.

Okay, fine, so I thought. It’s a record label, an artist, an album, free, kept me warm, fit well, quality fabric, I’m a good guy, liked the sweatshirt color scheme, moved on.

To be honest, while on stage I was aware of the meaning (thanks to the white German backpacker) and I did make reference to it. Sorry, I was just doing comedy and I can’t help myself. That’s what we do, we comment on what’s happening around us. As a licensed comedian I’m offered this luxury.

No incident, no problem, just solid international chuckles - including a table of Haitians.

So in the next day or so, I’m running out the door to my basic cable TV sports show where I did crowd warm-up and the occasional aired piece, throw on the HNIC sweatshirt, not thinking anything of it. Arrive on set, DeMarco Farr (a large African-American man, former NFL football player, host and friend) looks at the sweatshirt and laughs, says something about HNIC, we move on.

Why? Maybe because I’m a moral dude, a hard worker, a positive personality, not a racist, unaware, no malice, etc?

The show starts, audience full of Asians, I’m interacting with Tom Arnold and DeMarco. Everything is fine, sweatshirt is on (no comment from me), crowd is laughing, taped the first couple segments.

Next thing you know a flock of female co-employees begin to hover and gather to the side of the audience bleachers. All different races, just a group powerful woman staring at me in my HNIC sweatshirt (xxL).

So the head person in charge of production comes up to me and says, “Several people are very offended by your sweatshirt. Please take it off or turn it inside out.” I was shocked the head of production was called down from her office to approach me on this issue in the middle of a taping. I was definitely uncomfortable with the angry glares coming from this group, spearheaded by one particular African-American woman.

Just doing a show here, pumping up the audience, I’m the get-hype guy.

Me being proud and put on the spot, I let the audience know what was happening as I approached my bag to throw on a different sweatshirt. Luckily and coincidentally before the show, Tom Arnold gave me a Roots Canadian Olympic hooded fleece. No lie. I was saving it for the next day.

As I got to my bag, I told the main girl who complained, “just do your job, I’ll do mine, and leave me alone. What? Tomorrow I can’t wear my NWA hat?” (Ice Cube was the guest) She complained again, the head lady came back down, told me to drop it. So that’s what I did.

Of course I get called into the office the next day, lectured, talked to, yada, yada, yada.

Five years later, I’m still at this job (same pay, more hours). Never spoke to the complainer ever again. Soon after she left to greener pastures. Actually I was friendly with her before all this went down, she was cool. Then she just got real angry and militant that one afternoon.

Here’s the deal. I shouldn’t have worn the sweatshirt to a cable TV environment in the first place. Just asking for trouble, and that’s what I got. Could’ve have been handled differently, that’s all. Approach me after the show, write me an email, ask a common worker to mention it to me.

But the hostility and corporate involvement really soured me.

Almost got fired, they tried to stone me, but I fought back with a Zen-like approach, taking the higher road.

To this day, I’m a mere shell of my formal self, afraid to take chances, cheating the audiences of Brody at full creative power.

Kidding, just a little. Threw out the sweatshirt, harsh reality lesson learned and I’m a wiser person for it.

Just give Imus the same opportunity I was afforded, that’s all America wants.

They fired Imus. Blood will run in the streets of America. This is O.J. Simpson and Bobby Kennedy all over again and this time it’s personal.

What Imus said was stupid and not funny, at that time or place. As days turn into months, him saying “Nappy Headed Ho” will go down as a brilliant piece of humor. But that’s beside the point. He should not have said it for many different reasons, one of the them being getting fired.

Suspension and public humiliation are enough of a punishment. Apologize, learn from it, BRING TOGETHER, move on, a win-win for all parties involved. To fire, to go for the throat, you just anger more people. (is this the battle we’re gonna choose? words on a radio show and cable tv?)

Turn the channel, don’t listen, he’s a crotchety old man who people seem to like. What’s the big deal? No one got shot, just some feelings and shock. That’s what he does, he’s a SHOCK JOCK at the core. Consider the source.

Don’t white chicks get nappy hair too? And since when did the Rutgers Woman’s basketball team start listening to Don Imus in the morning? Who told them!!?? See? It instinctively drags me into this and I or a nation don’t want or need to go there.

Is it what we say, when we say it, who we say it to and where it takes place? Confusing. Has to be some slack on both ends, and there usually is. But in this day and age of cell phones, presidential campaigns, You Tube, hard core gangster R & B, Comedy Central and CNN, people are having a difficult time handling or understanding how to handle the gray areas. (me personally, I stay clear of those gray areas, I keep it clean and Judeo-Christian
I feel as though Don Imus was hanged, just like Saddam with Rev. Al and Jesse taking on the Bush/Cheney roles. Can’t the two parties get together like Geraldo and Bill O’Reilly? Nelly and Tim McGraw, Milton Berle next to Rupaul and Michael with Jackson because he’s been both.

Every few years the older white guys need an update and check up, consider it maintenance.

In the end, you can’t defend Imus, but you can be put off by the classless venom spewed by the usual suspects, combine that with the out of touch spineless networks and sponsors and you got yourself a wonderful blog entry.

People panic and are afraid to confront those who need to be confronted. I say bring Imus back. Let them protest, they’ll get tired, it will die down. Sponsors come back, guests return, back to normal, but stronger because we stood up for common sense in 2007.

In the end, this whole thing is ridiculous and a waste of energy for those who have real problems.

Let’s get it back to Iraq and Immigration please.