Mid-week Wordplay!

Listening to a Weezer single, Troublemaker –> it’s fun and upbeat. Instead of 9.99 for the album, I buy 13 tracks at .99 cents each. This way the artist wins and I lose four bucks and go deodorant-less b/c I can’t afford Mitchum.

Just having a blast. Feel free to sit back and laugh at your monitor through the help of my text and font choice.

Now I’m soaking in Sara and Tegan, she is great.

Daytime audience warm-up the rest of the week, UCB-LA for Wrestling Show on Friday at 8pm (funny people) –> then downtown after that for a rooftop gala, cutting edge and dangerous

Saturday I’m doing the F-Yeah Fest in Echo Park –> more big names and humor

Sunday –> back at UCB-LA hosting ASSCAT, the respected production and foundation of the theatre.

I’m slightly hurried here, so this is a bit sloppy, my apologizes.

I’m sorry, the two older Latina woman managers at our local Carl’s Jr’s in the neighborhood aren’t very nice. Two tiny ketchup packets, mumbles and no eye contact.

But I wanted that burger! I’ll be back next week I’m sure. They win. Carl’s and the Latina ladies.

I hope there’s a riot in Denver, these kids are ridiculous. Give them a chance and all they do is cuss. Young and dumb, getting nothing done. These are the non-athletes and demonic skater punks, they litter and make a fuss.

Damn, that was off the hook! I can free style.

Blogs are like baseball cards. Once everyone got into them, bigger and fancier collections, I lost interest. That’s how the web is, everyone’s got a story to tell. And you know what? Many of them do a great job. The professional newspaper columunists and those making fun of jpegs and hurting celebrities, bravo to you.

I do comedy. I bring live energy and smart laughs at a remedial level. I’ve followed the rules of humor, pre-internet. I preach, believe and reflect the fundamentals. I will stay the curse and be the first in line for the open call of all auditions: The Aspen Comedy Festival 2010.

Just jotting, that’s all I’m doing.

Oh, yearly blood work tomorrow! No food after midnight, basic check-up, peace of mind. Could be some stress and exhaustion, leftover whiplash elements?

Gym soon, by dusk. Looking for the Amino rush! –> another rhyme

How does the site look? Still tweaking, looks best on Safari. Spacing off on Firefox, gonna look into. Again, does not matter at all. Nobody rarely reads this, that’s what my Google stats are telling me.

Spambots from Sweeden don’t see live shows or request me for corporate gigs or offer Brody brand radio segments on XM.

A TV, Web, Podcast, or Sirius american media proof of demonstration will open these doors.

A book, a dvd, who’s stopping me? No one but myself.

Yes! I’m inspired to take a nap.

Bank of America keeps my change! Have you seen thier fees??

End on a laugh.

If I say this to an audience in my voice in front of them, at least 60% of the crowd will laugh. How do you not put money into this investment?

For crying out loud, look at this from last year…

This guy kinda runs The Office, you’re telling me his judgement is misguided?

Then why am I taking the FRIGGIN bus (Rapid on Ventura)??!! I should be able to afford a town car or condo south of the Blvd, and I ain’t talking about Chandler brother!!

I’m fired up and ready to go, though I do think I have a muscle strain. Abdominal, groin, hopefully not hernia. Had hern several years ago, not a big deal. I know what to expect. Think I overdid it on the Kettlebells, too heavy, forced the 45’s.

Have car, don’t worry. In shop getting AC ready for Fall.

–> fun last night at UCB with Jimmy Pardo and guests. YOU missed it. Yes you, and her too.

–> Sunday I’ll be at Ramada Inn on Vermont in Hollywood, Josh Fadem is a funny kid at 9pm.

–> Monday at Tiger Lilly on Vermont, just north of the Ramada Inn mentioned in line above, 8pm.

–> Tuesday in Santa Monica at 10p, then D & D in Glendale to close out their 2nd Anniversary Show.

All this while doing warm-up most afternoons at Chelsea Lately (which I enjoy, no problems at all, knock on wood). Factor in family, non-comedy friend pressure and Yahoo’s most emailed stories, life can get a bit hectic.

I need to be smarter. How can I get smarter? Are there any Get Smarter workshops available? Maybe I need to fight and compete? Yeah, but when I did that I never did comedy. I was so beaten down by these guys, mentally and physically. Why did I want to make them laugh? So they never got it.

Gay boy, jew Dork. Thanks guys! And some of the meaner gals.

Seattle got it. New York got it. Hollywood gets it. Reseda and Tempe, AZ are just gonna have to wait!

For the record, I’m into females, always have been. But the fact I’m saying this shows weakness, woman can sniff this out. And that’s why I wear AXE Body Spray, today going with the fragrance of Touch.

What comes to YOUR mind in this Vitamin Water banner ad on ESPN.com?

*looks like Lebron has the bong, Dwight Howard with a huge blunt, Chris Paul cooking up some burgers, Kobe reading High Times and Deron Williams doing something with his crotch under his shirt looking off into the woods for Big Foot.

Love these guys, it’s just what came to my mind. Much love, peace. Please don’t shoot me.

Ok, let’s talk and chill…

Eating Grape Nuts, a fresh box from Ralph’s! Delish with a coffee base. Two cups, french press on my own, light heaps of grounded Columbian cocoa grinds. Started drinking coffee in Seattle, I understand the Latte and it’s metric sizing system. All about the velvet foam.

Again, if you know me, this could be funny, me saying it. But if you don’t know me, you won’t get it. Darn. What should I do? I will continue my path because this blog is about me and for me! I’m solo and selfish.

Tonight I’ll be at El Cid on Sunset in Hollywood for a hot show…

I’m really liking this post. A nice flow and energy, could be my Itunes in the background? Oakenfold’s “Starry Eyed Surprise” off the Bunkka album setting the morning mood… We’re gonna dance all night, Dance all night to this DJ!

I’m returning to my electronic roots, proud of this rebirth. The Chrystal Method is up next and cued for play.

The iTunes Store is pretty cool, it’s like Facebook for sound. I can really get lost in there. Commenting on reviews and checking charts for popularity and duration.

Oh, so this is stupid?? Do you work at Chelsea Lately, almost winning over her audience on a dialy basis with outburts, passion and sadness? I do, and only I know this feeling.

So back off and give me space, just buy my t-shirts when they become available next month!

Boom, it’s out there! This is not a computer monitor, it’s now my Vision Board!

First shirts, then bizz cards. It’s all starting to make sense to me. I’m on the road to 3-D headshots with COLOR resume stitched on back! (several resumes and sag affiliations to choose from)

Font Fabric is all the rage.

Peet’s is like Starbucks for adults. Yes, this will be a bit on stage. Thank God nobody reads this. I’m sure I can put my fax number and soft-porn email alias up here too. Whatever. It’s all about TV, shock or possible legitimate talent. That’s how you get views, fans, friends and advertising dollars.

BS.com is basically online stickies. Your to-do lists are safe with me!

Had audition for a real comedy movie yesterday. Read for four separate roles. Don’t think I booked any of them. He’ll put me in the sequel, that’s what I think. Hello acting class!

See? No excuses. I should be deeply involved with intensive workshops. So until I register at The Learning Annex, I’ve got nobody to blame but myself when it comes to me managing the Red Robin in Calabasas off the 101.

Somebody is laughing, I can feel it. A friend in a cubicle, a PA on a producer’s desktop, a four-top in the booth or a audience as I’m reading this very paragraph out loud and to you here gathered in front of me.

I just shifted spheres, chills no doubt. Like the Big Foot, check my DNA!

I could do more, add a pic and be funny. But I gotta run, then drive, then run, sweat, eat, drive again, sweat again, walk again, sweat more, sit, smile at Filipino cashier, run, sleep, make calls, return text, shower and condition scalp, sweat, skip, walk, wake up and do all over again on Monday.

Who knows if this was funny? Don’t know. Don’t care!

And yes, this Stickie will be saved to my desktop if you need it.

What’s up? Pull up a large rock and sit on it, but not in a Fonzy way.

Sick of these new kids questioning everything with attitude. Just accept it, respect it, and keep your mouth and body language shut! Yes, my feelings and beliefs do matter, I’ve worked on some pretty cool stuff.

Not perfect or super successful, but my resume speaks for itself. Literally, it’s a mp3 file.

I talk to large groups everyday thru my wacky comedy adventures and I can say without a doubt, armed only with a public school education from The San Fernando Valley and Central Los Angeles, that I am far more informed and confident with POSITIVE VIBES than 95% of all audience members.

This is clubs, restaurants, Hollywood sound stages and sports talk radio.

Five minutes later, after reading and rereading….

Who the heck am I? Yelling, attacking innocent readers? I’ve never gone for it. Also never been chose for it either. So what does that say? I don’t get middle america views and hits. Comedians on the coasts like me, that’s about it. They think I’m funny because they actively enjoy comedy. Well, most of them.

Here’s some pix from Brody’s Baseball Bazaar to distract you from my ramblings…

It was a fun night, several laughs had by many. Dodger Dave rocked it! He is so into ping-pong, we’re gonna shoot something soon. Yep, you heard it here first. Tip Defamer, tell them a Brody/Dodger Dave collaboration piece is in the works!

Gotta go, exercise, eat, then do warm-up at Chelsea Lately. Chelsea is cool, she lets me do whatever I want. We rock it out, great crowds, I just stay outta the way of the love and laughs.

Stressed to look good and wear non-Quicksilver.

Talk soon, on the backside of this url!

Not bitter, just journaling

Sad day… Bernie Mac passing, freakout stabbing at the Olympics and fighting in Russia.

Makes me wanna hide in a movie theater, escape from the negitivity with Step Brothers, Pineapple Ex and Mamma Mia… for the third time.

But we gotta be strong and tough, filled with the spirit and will to hop back up on that tricycle and ride down to Mommy’s house in Palm Springs.  See?  It’s not easy. I’m trying to type serious stuff but I always end up creating a weak juvenile image of myself.

No more I say!

Actually, my overall recovery from whiplash has gone well. It’s been ten full weeks of heck.  Finally I can see the candle at the end of the tube.  

Great fun last night at Brody’s Baseball Bazaar.  Dodger Dave came in and stole the show, like a 32 year veteran of vending in the Field and Lodge levels at Dodger Stadium should.  Joe Wagner as “The Umpire“, it was the perfect vehichle for this man from Middle Florida.  Rob Delaney singing the National Anthem, Denver on audio (using two transistor radios with dueling AM stations via a 1/8th splitter), Spanish and Pepitone delivering East Coast grit with the ease of off-Broadway trained professionals.

The crowd wanted more… dare I say extra innings?

****

Midnight this evening I’ll be in Hollywood at The Steve Allen Theatre for The Tomorrow Show featuring very funny people, most likely for sure.

Steve is a cool guy, funny too.  He does stand-up and is a series regular on The Sarah Silverman Program.  He was born and bred in So Cal, just like me and thousands of gang members.